„Affirmative, Dave. I read you.“

Don’t feed the trolls. So I am writing this against my better judgement, really. But I just realised that Councillor David Silvester may have a point!

When I think back to the day I first kissed another girl: Well, it did feel like stars colliding. What if they did? Did entire solar systems blink out of existence that moment? Are we responsible for that? Did we incur the wrath of …

No, wait a moment… You almost had me there, Dave. Nice try but – really: No.
And by the way: The same part of the Scripture that you and yours love to quote against homosexuality bans eating fat (Leviticus  3:17), pork (Leviticus 11:7) – goodbye bacon and eggs – , and explicitly commands against cutting your hair or trimming your beard (Leviticus 19:27) – and judging from your photograph on the BBC’s page you’re at least guilty of the latter two sins, Mr. Silvester.

Another classic is found in Deuteronomy 23:1: „He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord.“ — Best pray then, you’ll never get testicular cancer…

So why are you so sure it’s gay marriage that brought down God’s wrath (allowing for a second a natural disaster can be interpreted as such – which it really can’t, that’s why we call it natural disaster) and not the poor sod who survived cancer and has the audacity to enter the Lord’s temple in defiance of said law? Or your obvious lack of beard? Or your haircut (or the PM’s –  in case it’s the head of government (pun intended) that matters)? See how quickly it gets tricky, when you use ancient religious texts to condemn others?

Ah, but what am I doing, arguing with trolls:

„Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose any more. Goodbye.“
(„I feel much better now. I really do.“)

[Quotes from Stanley Kubrick’s 2001 – A Space Odyssey and the King James Version]

2 Gedanken zu „„Affirmative, Dave. I read you.““

  1. I can assure you, it is quite likely that, the moment you shared your first kiss, somewhere in some globular cluster some stars did collide, the very moment you shared your first kiss.
    And some white dwarf would, in exactly that moment, sucked off enough material from it’s neighbour to go nova.
    Although stars rarely collide, it happens all the time, given the vast amount of stars out there.

    However, it is highly unlikely, that your kiss would be responsible, even if you believed in Dave’s crude theories.
    If your kiss would trigger a star collision in the globular cluster closest to earth, Caldwell 86, it would take God’s wrath some 7200 years to unleash on the unsuspecting star cluster, because that is the time the information about your snogging would take to reach the victim star. So you, or Dave, would hardly have a chance to witness that event.

    1. Not to mention the post hoc ergo propter hoc nature of any such argument.

      Yours would be a very good point, if David’s God abided by the rules of nature which, I am afraid, He (I’d say ‚She‘, if any, but David’s God is definitely male – and straight of course 😉 ) clearly does not – vide the episode with the stopped sun (Joshua 10:12-15).
      Of course, taking everything in that book of theirs seriously makes their god the most impossible of beings ever imagined by humans (I defy even H.P. Lovecraft to present such an absurdity) and yet a surprisingly high number of people still insist on literalism . Let them. I don’t really care. At least their crap has some entertainment value … as long as they will never get into power of course.

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