a face in the mirror

screaming to consciousness
re-born, but nor refreshed –
end another night – endless,
yet it slipped away –
granting it’s gift only in leaving;
too little balm on too many wounds

rising to face
the day-time monsters
i see myself give a smile
to the face in the mirror –
grey and hollow, dust on it’s lips –
first smile it had in weeks

calm now, ignoring
the leaden weight on everything
i shake off the dust – brush away
the leaves and spiders –
helpless to stop it from taking over
i allow the beast to rise

(i know that smile, seen it before)

all those days i have screamed,
raged inside my prison walls,
called for your help – release me!
all those nights trapped inside myself
locked in with the demon
the walls too thick for you to hear

my fight has worn me out,
broken my resistance  –
i know that smile, seen it before –
now that the beast rises
how can i hope to tame it –
how can i hope not to fall?